You've been talking for weeks, maybe months. It feels real — then comes a reason they suddenly need money. It's easy to feel foolish asking whether this is a scam after investing real feelings, but romance scams are built specifically to make you doubt your own judgment. Trust the pattern, not the feeling.
"I miss you so much. I'm deployed overseas and can't access my bank until my leave papers clear. Could you send $300 in gift cards so I can book my flight to meet you?"
Why this scam works
Romance scammers invest time on purpose — "love bombing" over weeks builds real emotional trust before any money is mentioned. A believable excuse (military deployment, an oil rig, an overseas business trip) explains why they can't video call or meet in person. By the time money comes up, you already feel like you know them.
5 signs it's a scam
- You've never met in person — and video calls always have a convenient excuse to fail
- They say they're deployed, on an oil rig, or traveling overseas — common cover stories
- They said "I love you" very fast — often within days or weeks of first contact
- They eventually ask for money — gift cards, wire transfer, or crypto, framed as an emergency
- A "friend," "lawyer," or "customs agent" backs up the story — a second voice to make the request feel official
What to do instead
- Stop sending money immediately, no matter how convincing or urgent the story feels
- Reverse-image-search their profile photo — it's often stolen from someone else entirely
- Tell a friend or family member what's happening — scammers count on isolation to keep working
- Paste any message asking for money into ScamCheck, and report the profile to the dating platform and IC3.gov